¡Bienvenido!

yea so im back from jacksonville florida. We beat notre dame into the fuckin ground, which made my week. The trip was awesome in about every aspect but the damn bus. It was my first new years away from my family which was definitely a great experience. I'm probably going to be behind on sleep for awhile now because of that trip. I took a hundred pics which can be found on the wolfweb. I'm tired and i don't think anyone reads this anyway, so i'm gonna hit the hay.

I'm here, yea. So i moved back in today, and i put together my futon which is rockin. I can't wait to get some use out of it. It is good to be back, i'd had enough of home for awhile. Good to be back among my homies as well. its late, haha. time to go, sorry for the shitty update. gnight to all those people who dont read this.

I'm still chillin here at school. I didn't really do much today. I just sat around and relaxed. I only have one class at 2:30 tommorow, so im gonna go to be within the hour. It is oceanography, which had better be interesting because i didn't see anything else i was interested in.

Friends bug me. I've been an introverted person all my life, and i've never had a lot of good friends. Usually i make a ton of aquaintances, and only get to know a handful of people pretty well. In my year and a half at college i'd say i've become a bit more extroverted. I definitely have more friends right now than at any other stage in my life. That is great in a sense, but i'm not really sure what kind of friendships i'm making. It feels like i make these friends, then they disapear on me. I don't know what happens to them really, i do stuff with them for a few weeks usually. There is a special bond, we have fun, its friendship. Around then something else pops up, some other circumstance, and i'm some how knocked out of the picture. Maybe i expect too much out of a friendship. I feel like im putting 2x what these 'friends' are putting into it.

Every group i know is different. I have probably hung out with four different groups of people, and then a variety of singles throughout the fall. Tognight i'm sitting here not having gone out and done anything with any of them. I'm not going to throw some hissy fit or demand sympathy, because that's just silly. I just wonder though, what happened where i went from being included by all of these people at some point to now where they are ALL out and i am not with ANY of them.

So then the tangent wanders to myself. Am i the kind of person that gets annoying to be around after a few weeks of spending time together? I mean all i want are a few friends i can count on to do stuff with. I enjoy hanging out with all my current friends once a month whenever im randomly thrown into their activities. I'd really like a group of people who í can do stuff with ANYTIME. If im not the one setting up things to do, then i'm getting invited. That is what im looking for i think.

So why don't i have that, again, is it something with me? Have i not met the right people for that? Do other people actually have this? I think i see other people with close friends they are always with, but is it not so? I have too much self esteem to get down on myself about it, but i wish i knew. Its a weird feeling, because i wouldn't call anyone a friend unless i liked them. I still like all my friends, and i understand what keeps them all away from me for the most part. I guess i just wonder if it has something to do with me, something i'm not doing.....

anyway, i ramble.... but it feels good to write it down..
back into the swing of things tommorow.....let me know if you read this
lates

What Drink Are You?

but not really woohoo....i accepted plans which then later got moved back without my knowledge after i had already said no to other plans...
so basically i'm fucked. funnnnnn. sit around night, yay.

wow I haven't written in a looooooooooooong time. Christmas was muy bueno, and I got a cell phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Gator Bowl was OH so fun! We had a blast, new years was terrific
It was just so cool to see State fans EVERYWHERE, and the stadium was sooo huge. It was really fun minus our STOOPID bus drivers, freakinay. They got lost more than once, argh.

So classes are . . . long. But Spanish and Russian are fun! I had to drop Psych.491S because it wasn't the type of psychological disabilities I thought it was. I thought it was interesting, but not interesting enough for 27865298375290384 hours of work per week. I just added archery to my mondays and wednesdays, so that should be real fun. AND I made wind ensemble! second chair!!! WOO WOO!!

So I'm thinkin bout gettin a Silver passat, right on. We'll see, but that would rock hard core, no?

are you ready for an abrupt ending? because here:

FIN

harlo. Today was chill, with my one class. I replaced French with American Lit since i'm not going for a French minor anymore. WAY TO GO NCSU SITE NOT HAVING THE RIGHT INFO. So we shall see what that is like tommorow. My oceanography teacher is pretty boring, BUT there is this girl who sits in front of me who VIBRATES. No joke, and i'm not talking just one leg or something, this is the full deal. She just goes non stop all period. I've yet to figure out what the cause of this behavior is, but i wonder what she'd be like in the sack. My friend and i couldn't stop laughing, it was incredible. Right on....I have to do homework tognight ewwwwwwwww. Silly accounting teacher thinks we are high school students. I should actually get to that in a bit, alas. Everyone have a good one. yea.

Today was good until my advising appointment. I went to english for the first time, which i think was a bad idea. I signed up for it yesterday; tuesday. I had to sign up for a paper topic today on a paper which is worth 40% of my grade :O. That was scary, but i figured id deal with it because i need a lit credit. My other three classes after that plodded along, accounting taking the longest to take its course. Talked with two HI cool ladies for lunch, then came back here in time to leave again for campus to talk to my advisor.

Commence the bad: This is all stuff i don't want to waste time bitching to anyone about, so i'm just gonna vent here. My grades suck. I'm a first year college student as a sophmore (oxymoron!). I'm doing ok, but i'm getting too many c's to get accepted into the college of management. My gpa is a 2.667, which i'm not too proud of. I need a 3 to get into be able to APPLY to management. So yea, if anyone reads this they are prolly laughing at my stupid/slack ass. That's fine, i deserve it.
So here is the deal: I'm taking 17 hours. If i want to apply for management school after this semester, i can only have like one B. Butttttt if i take this english and i know before hand i'm gonna get a C, because there is one assignment that is worth the whole grade and i don't even know how this teacher grades papers. Then i think i should drop the english class and go for 14 hours. So if i go for 14 hours without the extra burden of english, i need all A's. I'm an average student, usually undermotivated, just doing what is required to get by. This semester is the test. If i get a single C this semester, it is going to be REALLY hard to get into management, and i'll have to switch gears entirely towards humanities of some sort.
The icing on the cake: after all this work to try and get into management, i'm not really sure if business is what i really want to do. *joy*

How's everyone who doesn't read my journal today? Just chillin here on break, just started laundry. I've got to do homework in a bit, maybe. Oh wait, today isnt SUNDAY, and i have Monday and Tuesday to do it, nevermind; haha. Yesterday was fun, as i did some errands and got to hang out with KIZATRIN for a while. Splendiforous. I met a lot of her awesome friends in Chapel Hill.
/ten mins later
OK i just spilled an entire coke on my computer. I'm still typing, so i guess im ok
Women are beyond my understanding powers. I can't comprehend them. I talk to some who have long conversations with me, but all we talk about is her. I never say anything about myself. I come away initially feeling good for having talked to the girl for so long, but then i realize that she didn't really give a shit about me. Just a common theme, i don't think i can really relate that back to anything, maybe i just like to self disclose to women, idk. Anywho, off to a day of doing absolutely nothing and wishing otherwise(refer to bitch and moan rant about friends a few posts down).

sup. today was chill, talked to special #47 till the wee hours of the morning, then slept till 3:30 pm. Didn't really get much done, went to the women's bball game, and that is about it. Tommorow is homework day. Yay.
lates

So . . . this has been a week of extreme emotional highs and lows. I had the BEST weekend EVER! I hung out w/a really great person and had a wonderful time.
Then I got back to Raleigh and everything fell apart. I feel so sick, relationships are struggling (family, friends, blah blah blah), classes are actually getting hard, particularly Russian. other things too, I probably shouldn't be updating this right now b/c I'm in a stinky mood, but I figure it's getting it out.

On a lighter note, I had a fun time in wind ensemble today, we played a really challenging piece and it was really enjoyable. THen the brass quintent from the Air Force came and performed for us and all that biznass. I'm skipping the Duke NC State game tonight. . . which I know I'll regret but I'm just not up for it. Also, I dropped archery, which I also know I'll regret. Darnit. I just know I won't EVER go, I'd rather wait till it's not at that time. I'll probably take a summer class of Spanish to make up for the credit hour.

You should really read Blueblood's live journal. He's my dawg Marley, he's SOOOO funny! Not only that but he's a great writer, so check it out. I think I'm gonna go make PLAYLISTS now!!!! muahahhahah! This weekend should be VERY enjoyable !!!! Parties on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday! Oh by the way, come to Travis' party Sat. night at Lacey's house on Brent Rd. IM me or Lacey for details

much love :*

I was up late last night celebrating our day of optional classes today. I decided once this morning rolled around, that it really was too cold and icy to attempt a journey to class. So i got about four hours of sleep, then i chilled till my cat scan at noon. That was boring and succesfull as always. We had our first fire drill of the year today. It was cold outside for that long. The entire football team decided to sit on my car outside in the parking lot, so i think im famous now, or at least my van should be a collectors item now. The firedrill took like 45 mins, and there were at least a half dozen firemen standing around outside. Gotta wonder why it took so long with so many people left over. I'm gonna be out the next two nights, so i think i'll just chill here tognight. So tired, and i have hw to get done as well. Alas, at least its the weekend

ill never understand. Its ok though, live and learn. Tommorow starts a new week. Life is grand

Hello! So I have a few questions to pose for you, the beloved reader of my journal. This one stems from a debate on Marley's live journal: Do you think that life should be school-->job--->marriage? What do YOU want to do with your life? Post a comment for the viewing audience!

Other questions: Do you believe in fate? Are you a Led Zeppelin or Incubus fan? (whoa, sorry . .. that one just slipped in there. But if you're not,YOU SHOULD BE!!!).

I guess that's it, I thought I had more, but apparently not. This is what a day of partying will do to you, oiy! So I think I should go do some homework. Yeah, sounds good. Sweet dreams, loyal reader!

~Kdawg

WEE! I'm so excited! I inspired someone to start a livejournal! I'll let you know when it's up so you can read it.

So right now I'm listening to the entire 3CD set of Dick's Picks vol.18 on repeat trying desperately to do work. I just can't! I'm so tired of the whole school thing. I want to learn, and I want a degree, I just am tired of classrooms, ridiculous homework, and getting up so early every morning for something I don't like to do, y'know? I've been doin it for 13 frickin' years already! BAH! Perhaps I'll quit, get a random job to support me till I'm 21, then move to __________ city and be a police officer and Spanish interpreter. ¿quien sabe? not I!

But alas, I have to write a history paper on Hammurabi's code of laws which is like "do anything and YOU DIE!" then I have to study for the stupidest Spanish test ever! That class is horrible. It's so elementary! i'm not saying it's easy, nor am I saying I'm real good at Spanish, it's just that the teacher's . . . well. . . she's up the creek without a paddle. And the only thing we do is carry on conversations with our neighbors who don't want to speak in Spanish, and whose Southern accents completely butcher the language when they do speak it! AH!!!! whew. . . sorry, I'm ranting - I'ma stop.

Russian's real hard now. It's taking A LOT for me to do well in that class. But it's cool, I like a challenge I swear Bilenkin thinks we're all Russians and know the language already. Dah well.

Tonight I'm off to see The Ring with some of my favorite people! And who knows? maybe I'll actually open my eyes this time! hahah, check you later!
~Kat

So I got some bad news earlier, but hopefully things will turn out for the better. I'm trying to be optimistic about the whole thing I just wanted to put this entry up to say thank you to all my friends who are keeping me sane and cheering me up, you guys are AWESOME, I love you!!!! I'm gonna go sleep on it now, wish me luck in Russian, eek.
A special thanks to Jdub for being the bestest, heehee
goodnight all, and much love
~Kat

mspaghettio: I'm listening to Paula Abdul
gldngoddss20: Yeah well I'm listening to Ben so I win
mspaghettio: haha
gldngoddss20: HAHA
mspaghettio: boo
mspaghettio: well
mspaghettio: i got a poster
gldngoddss20: so do I
gldngoddss20: of the original five yo
mspaghettio: yeah well i got alimited edition one
mspaghettio: so there
gldngoddss20: yeah well I have 6 of the singles CDs
mspaghettio: yeal well i have 2 posters from sep 11th
gldngoddss20: SLUT WHORE
gldngoddss20: whoa
gldngoddss20: I meant . . .
gldngoddss20: oh really?
mspaghettio: lol
mspaghettio: you forgot bitch
mspaghettio: slut whore bitch
gldngoddss20: I thought about . . . your mommy
mspaghettio: swb
gldngoddss20: HHAHAHA
mspaghettio: lolllllllllllll
gldngoddss20: memories *tear*
mspaghettio: lol im getting the boy is mine
mspaghettio: what a great song
gldngoddss20: HAHAH
gldngoddss20: I have that CD :-[
mspaghettio: HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
mspaghettio: well i have christina aguilera
mspaghettio: so its cool
gldngoddss20: yeah?
gldngoddss20: well VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR!!!!!!!!!!!
mspaghettio: but i paid my money!
gldngoddss20: but you're so selfless, cold and composed!!!
mspaghettio: dammit rain drops keep falling on my head
gldngoddss20: yeah well will you never rest??? fighting the battle of who could care less?!?!?
mspaghettio: you know in a moment theyll be shooting up heroin?
gldngoddss20: won't you smile? you look so shocked!
mspaghettio: but im not tired
mspaghettio: actually i am
gldngoddss20: lol
mspaghettio: really tired
gldngoddss20: so just sleep
gldngoddss20: HAHAH
mspaghettio: LOL
mspaghettio: wooooooooooooooooooooooo
mspaghettio: my name is hrio i am 51./.. i love that song
mspaghettio: or hiro
mspaghettio: both
gldngoddss20: right . .. I kinda like hrio HAHAHHAHAHHA


for those of you who are thinking . . . what the ______?!?!?!?! This conversation is in regards to multiple Ben Folds Five songs. Right on
~Kat

so after saying I was gonna start my history paper for three days, falling asleep every time I tried to start it and being OH SO frustrated, . . . I went to Lacey's last night instead of working then came home at about 2ish, 3ish . . . then talked on instand message DARNIT and finally finished at 6:30 am. DEAR ME. I used to get up at 5 and go to the Y before school at 7:20?!?!?!? craaaazy. So needless to say I'm fixin to take a nap.

I have my first weather and climate lab tonight at 7 tho I REALLY don't want to go. I'm gonna suck it up and drive on. The only bad part is that I have to walk back from Jordan at 9 AH!

I'd like to give props to all MP kids for finishing their last guided coursework - right on guys!

I'd also like to point out that my self-esteem has been raised by ooh, about 2398472309480291809218490324% in the past couple days for many reasons I love all you guys!

have a good day/night/afternoon/era/week . . . all of the above, y'know

~Kat

I'm in a movie theatre, i think. The is something on the screen. I don't remember walking in, i just find myself there. Suddenly people get up and leave, in droves. I spend the next few minutes and can't figure out why for the life of me. I have never felt so confused. Suddenly the realization hits me: the movie finished. I get up and leave. Miraculously there are some friends waiting for me outside, who i recognize as friends, but none of them look familiar. They get in their car and leave immediately. I start heading to my car feeling like i need to meet them somewhere. I turn around and see the shadow. The shadow creature follows me often, it looked like he had just come out of the theatre, but I can't really see him. I'm afraid he is already in my van waiting for me. I press on, get in my van and drive off. I turn on the overhead light and look back for him. Nothing to see, but i'm still nervous. I park at some unknown place, thinking i've arrived. I can't find where i'm going though, and i realize i have a skateboard. I start to ride on it, crossing downtown roads. I'm in oblivion, nothing is familiar, and the feeling of loneliness sets in. Fortunately the alarm saves me.

gooood morning. Damn i did a lot of work last night. Went to bed at 4, got up a few mins ago to do some reading which i'll start in a moment. I'll probably go to two of my classes, then i have some errands to run after lunch and before i go skiing. Yes you heard right, í get to go skiing. weeeeeeeeeeeee. Should be fun, i'm going with the campus outdoor trip thing. I've only skiied once in my life, so it should be interesting. Anyway, time to get my tired butt to work.
BYE