so I'm sitting here reading peoples' tabulas and so much has
happened in the world of tabulas! So I figure now that I'm caught
up on reading I'll catch up on updating
I'm not in
that good of mood right now b/c I have a headache and I kinda had a
stinky day. But it's tricky b/c I feel like b/c of those 2 things
I'm in a bad mood on top but a good mood deep down and that's b/c it's
summer and I'm happy and I get to go home next week 
Also
everything's wacky right now - a lot of chaos is everywhere and I blame
it on the planets. So here's my wackiness: I'm a
naturally ditzy/airheadedish/silly person and always have been. I
also have been chronicly made fun of (in a silly way) my whole life,
which is essentially my job description at Sam Ash: get made fun
of all day. I don't mind - I've got the best sense of humor and I
love being silly with people. But sometimes it wears on you -
especially when you can tell sometimes people are being bitchy and
hiding it with a joke. That happened a lot today and I got made
fun of for being ditzy or whatever all day by a lot of different people
and it made me sad 
I wonder what people REALLY think of me
when all doors are closed. I know I shouldn't care and i don't
care in the sense that "omg I hope he/she likes me and my company" but
I care b/c all but like 1 person that made one of those comments today
are people whose opinions I value.
*sigh* Sometimes I need to say what's on my mind b/c otherwise nothing is solved, right?
When I sit and think about things though - and I do that often,
especially lately - I realize that the only thing that matters in the
end is myself. I know I'll have my family forever and they love
me regardless and hopefully some of my friends will be forever but the
person I have to wake up to every day and live with and impress and
love and worry about and protect no matter what - no escaping, is
me. Basically I wish I could say screw everyone else b/c
they shouldn't matter - but I can't help that they do.
so I have poetry and song lyrics for you to finish
up this entry. I have a poem to start you out - one I wrote
while I sat hungover in my anthropology class. Then I have a
Musiq Soulchild song and a tidbit of a John Legend song in light
of all the craziness everywhere. I feel like most of my friends
and family and coworkers are going through the wackiness mentioned
above so here's some hopeful words: (well, after the hangover poem,
right....)
Ode to a Hangover
Here I sit hungover in class
My teacher won't shut up, this headache's kicking my ass
My tummy's all rumbly, bumbly, upset
I swear I'll never drink again . . . . . at least, not yet.
IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE IN THIS ENTRY READ THESE LYRICS:
You Be Alright - Musiq Soulchild:
So many people are on a search to find
within their days, within their minds to hide
and dump the load of this worldly life
and the things that it can make you feel and do
just to pass away your time
But you be alright
Cause if you just hold on, be strong, you be alright, yes you will
People have a tendency to think to themselves
that they're the only ones going through more things than anyone else
but oh, I bet you'll beg to differ if you would just consider the much bigger picture
then you would see that most people go through the same things that you do in life
But you be alright
Cause if you can take it, you surely can make it, you be alright
Just take a good look around
look at the things and all the people, people that you see
cause we share a joy, we share a pain
so it doesn't matter at all
oh, we're all the same
so you be alright - everything is gonna be just fine
you be alright - so just keep your head up in the sun
you be alright - you got nothing to worry about - you be alright
It Don't Have to Change - John Legend
Do you remember
when the family was everything?
do you remember?
it was so long ago and so much has changed
I wanna go back
wanna go back to those simple days
I wanna go back
but now we've grown and gone our seperate ways
Times is hard and things are a-changing
I pray to God that we can remain the same
All I'm tryin to say is our love don't have to change
no it don't have to change
sorry I need to add one more set of lyrics from one of my favorite ben folds five songs:
jane be jane
you're better that way
not when you're trying
imitating something you think you saw
jane be jane
and if sometimes that might
drive them away
let them stay there
you don't need them anyway
you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right
don't try to see yourself
the way that others do
it's no use
you're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
but that you're worried
should tell you that's not right
you've had it harder than anyone could know
so hard to let it go
but it's your life
and you can decorate it
as you like
beneath the paint and armour
in your eyes the truth still shines
jane be jane
jane be jane
comments por favor?
Currently listening to: John Legend
Currently reading: Montana Sky - Nora Roberts
Currently feeling: VERY contemplative
Katrin